Preconceived Notions and Me

Being an only child and not having many gender restrictions put on me made for some interesting preconceived notions as a child. For instance, when I was in elementary school, we had a house with a fireplace in it (in fact, so did the other two houses we lived in before I left for college). My dad used to go out and collect firewood - although not exactly in a wood-sy kind of way. He used to find pallets of wood behind office buildings that had been thrown out, and he would take these home, break them up, and use them as firewood. Sometimes I was with him during these random excursions. Since I had no brothers, it seemed natural to me that I would be the one who, when I grew up and had a family, I would be the one who would drive around picking up thrown out firewood. It never occurred to me that it was a 'man's' job, even though I watched my dad doing it. I was happy to take on the responsibilities both my parents took on. It's not like I expected to be single all my life. It was more that I didn't know what skills my future partner would bring to the table, so in the meantime, I should probably just be prepared for anything.

Of course, now I live in an apartment, with a gas fireplace that turns on with a flick of a switch. The pilot light hasn't been lit since we've lived here. And there's a chance I'll never own a wood burning fireplace - they're illegal to install in newly built California homes. And I probably wouldn't burn wood even if I could, it's bad for the environment. The better choice is to put on a sweater - and sometimes a hat, even if it feels silly wearing a hat in my home.

This isn't to say I was a tomboy or anything - especially since tomboys are usually known for being good at sports. But I never minded being the brother in made-up story games with friends - like when a few friends and I were really into the Boxcar Children , I was happy to be the older brother. Responsibility, taking charge, knowing what was what - that's what I've always liked, and it seemed those qualities were always easier to get as a boy.

I also really enjoyed playing with dolls - Barbies specifically. And I enjoyed having long hair. And I enjoyed my stuffed animals. And I had crushes on boys. But I was always turned off by the color pink - more it's implications than the actual shade, and I never particularly liked to wear dresses, and I loved video games.

I also assumed I would go to Stanford, as I discussed in a different post, and I always knew that I would have a boyfriend eventually (discussed in the same post). One of those turned out to be true, and the one I would pick if I were pressed.

Now, I'm really glad I got to grow up doing the things I did, just kind of going along, being taught not to bother too much with what other people thought. It was hard in elementary school, and even harder in middle school, to be unique and totally me. But then I got to high school and it all payed off. And again in college. And I feel like it's served me well since then, although I'll admit to getting somewhat lost during my previous relationship. But, you know, what else are your twenties for if not losing yourself and then finding yourself again?